fake ads, Vol. 1

October 20, 2007

Papa John Creach Pizza

Better blues ingredients…better blues pizza

…and that’s unique?!

October 11, 2007

And lo and behold, there they are, practically everywhere I look?!   Maybe it’s a 20th century thing, but I am compelled (naked) to wonder and ask why and when people started putting question marks (buffalo in sky) at the end of statements and leaving (no turkey) periods  at the ends of questions.  It’s very simple; if you write a question (dodging), a question mark (?) goes at the end.  If you write a statement, it ends with a period (.).  Even if the statement begins (soul mate tongs) with “I wonder if” or “We wonder if…”, that’s a statement, and a period ( ends it.

 Most of the time when people use the word “unique,” (Mickey Finn) what they mean is different, unusual, distinctive; basically something stands out from the crowd (cornspicuous in the heartland).  Unique does not mean (no math, hear) any of those things (rabbit dog) – it means one of a kind, and that’s why you are unique, just like everybody else (unique) on this planet (unlimited hard drive). One other thing – a lot of folks use the word ignorant (I didn’t know that) when what they mean is rude.  Ignorant means unlearned or uneducated (burn wicks, not books).  If someone cuts in front of you in line (my gal is read hot), that is rude (anal opening) but is not ignorant (fresh fish), unless they haven’t been taught that it is rude; then they’re ignorant regarding manners (not manors) and social graces. 

Just setting record strait J


Implications of a Genetic Defense

September 20, 2007


And welcome ye progressive-metal fanatic to the universe of Dimension X.  Actually it is your universe, too; or it might be at some point months or years from now.  Implications of a Genetic Defense,the second CD from this Milwaukee-based prog-metal outfit, is just 6 minutes shy of an hour’s worth of futuristic social commentary.  Although the members of Dimension X create thinking-person’s prog metal, and here they crank out some pretty dark musical graffiti, this kind of thing has to be full of emotion to work.  Fortunately, (insert sinister laughter here) this material gives the impression that they are quite sensitive to the darker possibilities of life on the horizon.


Right off the bat, or, uh, knife’s edge, these guys demonstrate how well they work together.  “Serial” rips out of the speakers like fire gushing from a flame thrower and goes through several time changes, possibly demonstrating the mood swings of the protagonist and his perverse dichotomy of low self-esteem and self-righteous entitlement.  It’s a great showcase particularly for the guitarist, Troy Stetina, vocalist Dave Hoover II, and the change-time-on-a-dime rhythm section of Edward Shapanske on drums and D.R. Burkowitz on bass .  Accompanied by keyboardist Jeff Konkol on melancholic piano, “The World News” features numerous voice-overs in speculation of future talking heads, talk show hosts, and the reportage and discussion of chaotic news events.


“Justification” is the unsettling tour de force of this album.  The protagonist reaches the end of his rope, as he can no longer communicate with his deceased victims (whose corpses remain in his presence) and decides that society must take preventive measures to stop further barbarity.  Talk about a shadowy man on his own shadowy planet.  It’s another workout (13-plus minutes) for the band members to show their strength as individual musicians and as a unit, and they succeed on both counts.


“Heartbeat” and “Cordwood” barnstorm through your speakers like a tornado and leave everything in the room rearranged (while you were blinking), taking no prisoners – or hostages for that matter – along the way.  Does cyanide have a distinctive taste?  If so, would that taste be anything like “Hazelnut” coffee?  Dimension X suggests so, and I ain’t about to question it.  “A Fifth of Madness” is an instrumental of twists and turns that include a chainsaw and guitars that sprint, endure intense anxiety, and flee in foggy, moonlit desperation.  “Epiphany’s Flight” takes the listener on a short, orchestral journey with an effectively Xanax-worthy nervous cello.  While I cannot reveal the end of these proceedings, during “Watercolor,” accompanied by plenty of menacing, delusional, and hyperkinetic instrumentation, our emotionally tortured protagonist reaches a reckoning with himself and proceeds to…


A disturbing and entertaining piece of work this really is, if you have a corner in the entertainment room of your mind for dark subject matter, and especially if you enjoy it.  The entire CD has a 21st century Twilight Zone aura about it.  If you dig that kind of thing with your progressive metal, Implications of a Genetic Defense comes highly recommended.

Hello world!

September 20, 2007

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